I can’t even count on my hands and feet how many times I wished I could read someone’s mind. Sometimes, I wish life was like the movies where you could just look at someone and hear their thoughts, then again they would probably be reading mine too, so never mind on that. But, seriously, how many times have you told someone just what they wanted to hear….I know I have many many times…better to lie than hurt someone’s feelings. Just like some times call for a lie to be nice, other times there is no excuse to lie. These are the times you may need to become more aware of the situation and the person.      By just paying attention, you can notice some things that will key you in on a lie. When someone is guilty they may:

• become very defensive
• body language - not looking you in the eye, being fidgety, acting nervous or uncomfortable, arms or legs will face the exits, looking up to the right
• Mistaken memories - stories/events constantly change   
• Projected feelings - telling you you are lying
• Touches the face - touches the cheek, mouth or nose
• Rise in voice pitch
• Pause in speaking - needing time to think before answering

Remember that the person’s normal behavior has to be taken into consideration. If the person is an awkward, fidgety, uncomfortable person normally, then this definitely won’t work for them. This is more for the cool, calm collective people. Any noticeable change in behavior can clue you in that something is going on. Pay attention and be alert to what is said and done and you may start noticing things….

As stated previously, I am on a mission to drink and maintain more water intake. I drink a little more than a gallon a day and had a good system down. I would keep my water in a gallon container on the counter, and I drank out my “special” cup. There really is nothing special about it, other than I like it and it is a perfect size with measuring’s on it up to 19oz.

First, let me start off by saying, my special cup is a replacement to my initial “favorite” cup that was found broke because someone dropped something, stepped on it, or maybe fell on it the jury is still out on what actually happened with it.

Anyway, I wake up one and was horrified at what I saw! Someone had knocked my empty gallon on the container off the counter and had inadvertently stepped on it and crushed it ! Surprised doesn’t even do justice to what I was feeling. But, I picked myself up and figured I would go later that day and get me another container. Well, I never got around to going to get another container…to busy with everyone in the house. So I went on with my water drinking habits, using my favorite “special” cup. Because after all it has measurements on it so I can continue making sure I drink enough.

Well this morning, I woke up and started my morning ritual of filling my gallon container and getting my “special” cup, only to find my “special” cup is missing! It is not in the dishwasher, sink, my room, or anyone else’s room for that matter. I have torn up the house looking for my “special” cup. Alas, prior experience has taught me to fear the worse. I feel like I have a house full of double agents working against me!! .

So here I sit, typing on my computer drinking my water out of………a gallon milk jug

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The idea of having a miracle potion to attract the opposite sex would interest anyone. Just like the movie, Love Potion #9, to be able to spritz a little “magic potion” on you and have every man or woman wanting you is just what the depressed and lonely are praying for. So when I heard about the best-pheromones.com site which boasts the possibility of just this, let’s just say my interest was peaked. It goes in depth about how pheromones can be used to attract the opposite sex. The site makes it very easy to navigate to either attract men or women, with one click of a button.

For women, once you click on the “attract hot men” button you will be taken to a page that tells you a little more about pheromones. Pheromones, are very powerful scents that can have powerful effects on the opposite sex. Women can find a brief introduction and explanation about pheromones on this page, or you can click through the site and learn more about the products. This company has  a product called Super Concentrated Pheromone, which is stated by them to be “so effective that it is almost unfair to men”, I like that sentence! That one sentence makes me eager to try.

Men who get to the site will click on “attract sexy women” , because men don’t want un-sexy women, of course , and be taken to a page discussing their product and human pheromones, this link will take you to have a look at their product. I have read articles before stating the effects of testing pheromones on men and the response seen from the opposite sex so it would be interesting to see this product actually at work. Browsing the site, men are sure to want a bottle to get that special, or un-special, woman. If you want more information about the scientific study of pheromones, they have a page devoted just to clinical studies.

After fully going through the site, I found an article which was really fascinating. It told about a test ABCNEWS did on the Super Concentrated Pheromone product with a set of twins. They put the product on one twin and a market cologne on the other. They found that the twin using the product was approached 3x more than the one without it. That is incredible to me. If you still aren’t convinced about the power of human pheromones, click on this link and read some of the testimonials. After reading this, I think you will agree with me, pheromones really are nature’s love potion!

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Ways to catch him on your own.

After your suspicions are aroused, from the Is He Cheating post, now it’s time to get to work. You want the proof of exactly what he is doing and who he is doing it with. Here are a few helpful tips to help you on your “journey to truth”.

• Stay Alert and keep notes of anything you need to remember, like phone numbers, names, addresses…etc. You may start notice a pattern of his suspicious activities…write it down. Keep a secret journal filled with times and dates of his suspicious activities. If possible put it in code.
• Make sure you put things back the way you find them, don’t let him find out what you are up to. Don’t act suspicious, continue with your usual behavior. You don’t want him to think anything, otherwise he will become more cautious and sneaky. 
• Snoopbuddy.com is a good website to get someone else to verify where he will be or what he is doing. This is good to let someone he won’t recognize check up on him.
• E-stealth.com has an item called Blue Tooth Spy Software for your Mobile phone which is amazing. It allows you to View contacts list, read his text messages, view calls made/received, set his phone to call you whenever it makes or receives a call, view his photos, and allows you to make a call using his cellular number. It says it is untraceable.
• If you choose to go the route of following him, mark his car by breaking his tail light out. You can always find his car in traffic by the broken tail light.
• Try Googling any screen names he has used or is using. It may surprise you what you find. You can find comments he has left others and other email addresses he may have.
• Keep your emotions under wraps! I know you will be tempted to throw the evidence in his face or drop hints or make sarcastic remarks but hold off until you have enough evidence. Before you lose control you haven’t proved he’s done anything, yet.

Use all these things to build a case against him. One, where no matter what he says or does you know completely he is up to no good and there is nothing he can say to get out of it. You want all the evidence you can possibly get. But never let him know all the information you have.

Sooner or later you will have to make a decision….either you live with it or live with out him. Are you ready to face the consequences? Always put your safety first, never put yourself in any dangerous situations. Also, remember your self preservation, this could become a dangerous situation if not careful. Good Luck on your “Quest for the Truth”.

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If someone is cheating you almost always know because he is taking something away from your relationship and giving it to someone else. You can feel something is missing or wrong. Long gone are the days of simple lipstick on the collar detection, cheaters have gotten high tech.

• His behavior changes from his norm. He starts to lavish you with “just because” gifts ( a psychological sign of guilt)
• Anything password protected is a clue he may be up to no good
• Deleting text messages, emails, and phone records no matter what the excuse. When you go to pick up his phone he grabs it first and by the time you get it everything is empty (same goes for his laptop)
• You can’t keep track of his work schedule or he no longer has a routine. He is always working late or having to go in at odd times and now he has to take overnight trips. Check his pay stub. If he is working late, why isn’t he getting paid for it.
• Their tastes in everything suddenly changes, they are liking things they never used to like. Perhaps, the person they are spending their time with is growing on them. He suddenly likes a different style of music, one he never liked before is a good clue.
• Money coming into the household is suddenly short. You notice ATM and credit card usage increased and can’t be explained. When you ask about this he gets upset or gives some ridiculous excuse. It cost money to court a new person, he has to wine and dine her.
• Odd times for telephone calls, alot of unknown numbers and him rushing to answer every call is a definite clue. Suddenly their friends are people you don’t know and you never get to meet. When you ask who they are talking to they say wrong number or it was for work. If so, be wary he may not be talking to who he says and those unknown numbers are very suspicious.
• He becomes sneaky and withdrawn. Excessive internet usage is a red flag, especially when you walk in the room and they hide what their doing.
• You can never find his phone when it is not in his hands. And he begins hiding his cell phone bill, it never makes it in the mailbox, or rather in the house(mysterious, isn’t it).
• He gets home from work and he smells like some unknown cologne or perfume and he immediately has to take a shower before you can get too close to him. Many cheaters will say they are going to the gym or just to “work out” after work, when instead they go to meet someone. This gives them the perfect opportunity to jump into the shower when they get home without you being suspicious, they think. But many gyms track every time a customer goes in, so you can call and easily get a list of days that week that they actually went to the gym.
• He picks a fight about anything with you, just to have a reason to leave the house. He is so mad he MUST now storm out of the house. Next time, don’t fight with him and see his reason for leaving.
• All of sudden your love-making or kissing isn’t good enough. He either isn’t happy with you or he requests for you to change.  He makes comments about how you are not sexual or kinky enough for him.
• He cares more about his appearance like never before. Dressing better, wearing cologne just to hang out with friends, tanning, and he is very well groomed. A cheater will start to better their physical appearance by abruptly working out and losing weight. They want to look good for their lover or they are trying to impress the opposite sex.
• He volunteers to do any tedious errand (anything that gets him out the house) and it always seems to take hours.
• The wedding ring is no longer a permanent fixture on his hand. He only wears it around the house and he gives lame excuses why he can’t wear it out. Sure, now you are allergic to it and it breaks you out
• He starts buying new or sexy underwear. He went from raggedy underwear to wearing sexy underwear, you should already know what’s up at this point. I shouldn’t even have to continue if you have gotten to this point. You and I both know what’s going on.

This list can go on and on with specifics but you can get a general idea of things to look for. If you took the time to read this whole list and are relating to it, Uh Oh………

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I never thought that marriage and love would be so demanding. You always think they go hand-in-hand but it seems that it doesn’t. After being with someone for almost 12 years, I realize it takes work to stay together. Of course, I ,as well as all of you, wish that it was like in fairy tales. You meet your prince, fall in love, and get married. No one ever thinks about what comes next. What do you do after all the new found love fades and real life starts? Kids, money, work, bills, cooking, cleaning, and not too mention Loving each other. It makes me tired just saying it all. How do you find the time to take care of YOUR life and be in another’s? How do you find time the time to be happily married?

I am here to tell you it ain’t easy. After 12 yrs, 4 kids, and the stresses of life, easy is far from it. We have just recently REALLY started making the marriage more about us. For, it seems, years we were just going through the motions of marriage. The standard “I love you’s” and casual talk, hurrying to get to the kids. I guess I wasn’t really aware of what was going on. I was so busy paying bills and taking care of the kids and the household, I totally forgot about working on my marriage. Ok, so now that I am aware, what do I do?

The first thing is to get some time away from the kids. Then start going out together and acting like we did when we first met or just sit in and watch a movie alone. Once you start really paying attention and being happy the marriage just falls right in place. You know you are on the right track when you start to do the little things for them, without even noticing.

• When your man is tired, you get the kids to back off from him for a while.
• When he even looks at the kitchen, you are already walking in to get him something to eat.
• If he loves to eat you are suddenly studying to be a chef, trying new recipes just to make him happy.
• Don’t let him get sick, you turn in to an RN, taking temperatures, dispensing medications, helping him to turn the channel (with the remote!).

The list goes on and on……

I am basically saying, “Marriage isn’t easy, it takes two to make it work”.

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