Ways to catch him on your own.

After your suspicions are aroused, from the Is He Cheating post, now it’s time to get to work. You want the proof of exactly what he is doing and who he is doing it with. Here are a few helpful tips to help you on your “journey to truth”.

• Stay Alert and keep notes of anything you need to remember, like phone numbers, names, addresses…etc. You may start notice a pattern of his suspicious activities…write it down. Keep a secret journal filled with times and dates of his suspicious activities. If possible put it in code.
• Make sure you put things back the way you find them, don’t let him find out what you are up to. Don’t act suspicious, continue with your usual behavior. You don’t want him to think anything, otherwise he will become more cautious and sneaky. 
• Snoopbuddy.com is a good website to get someone else to verify where he will be or what he is doing. This is good to let someone he won’t recognize check up on him.
• E-stealth.com has an item called Blue Tooth Spy Software for your Mobile phone which is amazing. It allows you to View contacts list, read his text messages, view calls made/received, set his phone to call you whenever it makes or receives a call, view his photos, and allows you to make a call using his cellular number. It says it is untraceable.
• If you choose to go the route of following him, mark his car by breaking his tail light out. You can always find his car in traffic by the broken tail light.
• Try Googling any screen names he has used or is using. It may surprise you what you find. You can find comments he has left others and other email addresses he may have.
• Keep your emotions under wraps! I know you will be tempted to throw the evidence in his face or drop hints or make sarcastic remarks but hold off until you have enough evidence. Before you lose control you haven’t proved he’s done anything, yet.

Use all these things to build a case against him. One, where no matter what he says or does you know completely he is up to no good and there is nothing he can say to get out of it. You want all the evidence you can possibly get. But never let him know all the information you have.

Sooner or later you will have to make a decision….either you live with it or live with out him. Are you ready to face the consequences? Always put your safety first, never put yourself in any dangerous situations. Also, remember your self preservation, this could become a dangerous situation if not careful. Good Luck on your “Quest for the Truth”.

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If someone is cheating you almost always know because he is taking something away from your relationship and giving it to someone else. You can feel something is missing or wrong. Long gone are the days of simple lipstick on the collar detection, cheaters have gotten high tech.

• His behavior changes from his norm. He starts to lavish you with “just because” gifts ( a psychological sign of guilt)
• Anything password protected is a clue he may be up to no good
• Deleting text messages, emails, and phone records no matter what the excuse. When you go to pick up his phone he grabs it first and by the time you get it everything is empty (same goes for his laptop)
• You can’t keep track of his work schedule or he no longer has a routine. He is always working late or having to go in at odd times and now he has to take overnight trips. Check his pay stub. If he is working late, why isn’t he getting paid for it.
• Their tastes in everything suddenly changes, they are liking things they never used to like. Perhaps, the person they are spending their time with is growing on them. He suddenly likes a different style of music, one he never liked before is a good clue.
• Money coming into the household is suddenly short. You notice ATM and credit card usage increased and can’t be explained. When you ask about this he gets upset or gives some ridiculous excuse. It cost money to court a new person, he has to wine and dine her.
• Odd times for telephone calls, alot of unknown numbers and him rushing to answer every call is a definite clue. Suddenly their friends are people you don’t know and you never get to meet. When you ask who they are talking to they say wrong number or it was for work. If so, be wary he may not be talking to who he says and those unknown numbers are very suspicious.
• He becomes sneaky and withdrawn. Excessive internet usage is a red flag, especially when you walk in the room and they hide what their doing.
• You can never find his phone when it is not in his hands. And he begins hiding his cell phone bill, it never makes it in the mailbox, or rather in the house(mysterious, isn’t it).
• He gets home from work and he smells like some unknown cologne or perfume and he immediately has to take a shower before you can get too close to him. Many cheaters will say they are going to the gym or just to “work out” after work, when instead they go to meet someone. This gives them the perfect opportunity to jump into the shower when they get home without you being suspicious, they think. But many gyms track every time a customer goes in, so you can call and easily get a list of days that week that they actually went to the gym.
• He picks a fight about anything with you, just to have a reason to leave the house. He is so mad he MUST now storm out of the house. Next time, don’t fight with him and see his reason for leaving.
• All of sudden your love-making or kissing isn’t good enough. He either isn’t happy with you or he requests for you to change.  He makes comments about how you are not sexual or kinky enough for him.
• He cares more about his appearance like never before. Dressing better, wearing cologne just to hang out with friends, tanning, and he is very well groomed. A cheater will start to better their physical appearance by abruptly working out and losing weight. They want to look good for their lover or they are trying to impress the opposite sex.
• He volunteers to do any tedious errand (anything that gets him out the house) and it always seems to take hours.
• The wedding ring is no longer a permanent fixture on his hand. He only wears it around the house and he gives lame excuses why he can’t wear it out. Sure, now you are allergic to it and it breaks you out
• He starts buying new or sexy underwear. He went from raggedy underwear to wearing sexy underwear, you should already know what’s up at this point. I shouldn’t even have to continue if you have gotten to this point. You and I both know what’s going on.

This list can go on and on with specifics but you can get a general idea of things to look for. If you took the time to read this whole list and are relating to it, Uh Oh………

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